Intro / Riot - Dane Cook

We are going to have a relationship tonight

I’m gonna go out with you. We’re gunna date for a while

We’re gonna make sweet, sweet comedy love with each other

And then suddenly without warning I’m not even gunna call you guys

Anymore. The last thing you will have heard me say was

«hey, i’ll call you guys later» and I never call

But you hear from the grapevine, I’m dating a younger, sexier crowd

And then I’m really happy, but I’m not happy cuz I think about you guys

And about a year from now, I’m gonna call weeping in the middle

Of the night, «(sniff)you were the best crowd I ever had…(sniff)

You really listened to me… and I didn’t know the crowd I had til you

Despersed.» Then we’re gonna get together, were gonna hang out

And maybe we’ll all like, ya know, run around town and smash windows

And cause destruction. And I’ll make jokes and one of you guys will turn

And be like, «Haha, Dane your a riot!» and I’ll go

«IM A RIOT? YOUR A FUCKING RIOT!»

GET IT?

Thats how things are gonna go down tonight!